Random Acts of Kindness
She explained how she swaddled him tight and got him to take a bottle, and I gratefully fell into her deep embrace. It was after midnight, and I was sure Melissa needed to get home to feed her own newborn baby boy. The following day started with discussions of who would speak at the funeral, when would it take place, would we wait for outer towners to fly in. At some point, a dress from Ann Taylor appeared on our doorstep, tags on, and in my size. How did Cathy know I needed a funeral dress? Jennifer arrived with an overnight bag, and I protested, not wanting to take her away from her new husband. She sat with me as I cried in disbelief. She placed a plate of eggs and toast on my lap as I nursed my son, and I gratefully swallowed each bite.
We greeted hundreds of friends as they came through the line of the wake,
“Oh, she's okay. We are fine. We'll all be ok.” I comforted and reassured guests that we were going to get through this tragedy. Our feet ached, our tummies growled, and my cousins helped me take breaks when my milk came in. My mom’s friend Kathy whispered into my ear that we should drive over to her house once we were finished. Swollen-eyed and exhausted, we completed the odd tradition of standing by our father’s casket, helping other people feel better.
Kathy greeted us as her husband Craig played the piano in their living room. Their elaborate table was set by candlelight with fine china, and their children stood at attention like waitstaff. They served us a feast, and we gobbled up every last bite. We laughed and cried as we shared stories of awkward things people said to us in the funeral home. The family waited on us like we were in a fancy restaurant while we reminisced about our Dad. We slept well on the eve of his funeral thanks to this very generous gift. Twenty years later, these random acts of kindness are the moments I cannot forget about my father’s funeral.
After I published the first Sunnyside column, my friend Sue laminated the copy and I gave it to my father-in-law. A new friend Bethany mailed me her extra paper with a sweet note of encouragement. I received a handmade card with a package of decadent warming chocolate from a friend I have not seen since middle school. I am impressed that she took her time to purchase, create, package and send it to me from her post-office in Eureka, California.
Many people think generosity comes from your wallet, but sharing your time, energy and words can make other people around you feel good. When you are surrounded by good, you feel lighter. When you are the giver, you shine a little brighter. It is called the “Giver’s Glow.” Dr. Stephen G. Post has researched this theory in his study at New York’s Stony Brook University, proving that often it is better to give than receive. And a random act of kindness is a Covid-friendly activity you can try right now.
Spreading good not only makes you feel better, it can inspire others to follow. These moments that make you smile, I call joy bursts. Share your #joyburst and tag me @samigreenfield so we can spread the good together!
