The Art of the Ask
In college at Elon University, I worked the phone-a-thon for the Advancement Office. I was given a background sheet and taught to weave the alumni’s involvement at the school into my conversation.
“Hi, I am a sophomore and a Tri-Sig at Elon. Do you keep in touch with any sorority sisters from your class?”
Instantly I reminded them of the connections they made while on campus. Some would appreciate a conversation and others would cut to the chase, knowing the purpose of my call. But I had to be prepared to entertain both options. It was a valuable lesson on taking the time to get to know people and make personal connections. Probably one of the most valuable lessons I learned at Elon was over cold pizza and a bank of rotary phones.
“I hate asking for money, I could never do your job.” When I tell friends what I do for a living I can see the fear in their eyes. Volunteers will offer their time with the guideline that they will not ask their friends for money. What they do not realize is that it is not a transactional experience. The art of fundraising involves forging a relationship, learning what inspires the person and working together to find what can ignite their giver’s glow. It should be meaningful for both the giver and the receiver.
When we are small, many of us write a wish list for our birthdays or Christmas. We may not receive everything on our list, but we curate our desires and share them with those in the power to deliver. When I have the opportunity to meet with people in a position to support the institution I am working for, I am merely communicating the wish list. Not everyone can be Santa, equally important are the roles of Mrs. Claus and the elves. It does not have to be an uncomfortable conversation, it can be an opportunity to figure out how the person can give their time, talent or treasure.
Having the opportunity to thank a person for a gift is another joyful activity. Sharing a student’s joy over the scholarship they received, or a trip they were able to take thanks to a donation is magical. Sharing excitement over a new book collection that enhances lessons, or the hiring of an assistant to the classroom to spread a teacher’s attention is inspiring. I find it invigorating when people want to renovate, build and expand to enable an organization to spread her wings.
I do not ask people for money, I help them find a way to connect and give back in the best way that they can manage. In highlighting the joy of their gift and by expressing gratitude, I ensure that they bask in their own giver’s glow. Try this technique next time you have an ask and I guarantee you will not only get what you want, but you will both walk away sparkling.
