Bye, Bye, Mr. American Pie
Many of us who have been married for a long time become bitter over gift-giving at the holidays. I am not sure why, but when I got married, I took over the role of Santa, purchasing all of the gifts that our family gave to others. I am sure that it was exciting at first, but over a period of years, it has become a burden (sorry Greenfields). Last year, in a frustrated moment, I suggested that Todd help me with a gift for his own parents. My in-laws are the most gracious people I know, and they refuse most gifts, thinking they are unnecessary or extravagant. They just want the gift of our presence, which makes the selection of an actual present challenging.
Todd reviewed what we have given them in the past and came up with the idea to sign them up for a meal delivery service. His mom loves to cook, and his Dad loves to eat, so this sounded like a great plan. To be honest, I was just happy to not have to shop for another gift. We sent them the gift of Blue Apron, and Todd spent hours Facetiming his father to teach him the ins and outs of how to select meals. Todd also added boxes of wine to the order, which were selected to pair with the meals and scheduled for weekly deliveries.
Twice a week I would walk into Todd’s home office where his Dad would be on his screen gushing over their latest dish. His mom sent photos of their table to include white table cloth, lit candles, a bottle of wine and proudly presenting their latest culinary accomplishment on two plates. My father-in-law would greet the delivery person in the driveway and quickly unpacked the crate like a young boy on Christmas morning.
“It looked so good, I had to start the salmon before Mary got home!” he texted. “Wow, I have never eaten bok choy, but it pairs so nicely with the Rose they sent.”
In thirty years of marriage, I had only witnessed my father-in-law grilling and drinking bourbon, so this came as a pleasant surprise. For many months this gift gave Todd a daily connection with his parents and he saw a side of his Dad he had never seen before. On Valentine’s Day they texted over the joy they shared cooking scallops and enjoying the new wine together for a dinner they created. Their stomachs, and our hearts, were full. We could not have imagined that just two weeks after Valentines day my father-in-law’s heart would fail and take him from us.
We spent many days sharing stories and gathering photos of our time with him, and many of those involved his newfound cooking skills. At his funeral, Todd stood before the church filled with our family and friends who came to show their love. He delivered the most heartfelt eulogy filled with laughter and tears from the memories that were created by his father. Todd’s mom sat proudly in the front pew of the church, holding my hand and gushing with pride as Todd exited the alter. “Thanks for giving Dad that gift” she whispered when a teary Todd returned to our pew.
I think Todd nailed the gift-giving this year.
