Reframing in a New Light
Our spring kicks off with celebrations of mothers, graduates, fathers, brides and grooms. They bring on a flurry of excitement, but crammed together the season can be overwhelming. As soon as people realize that summer is near, work deadlines pick up speed and calendars tighten up. Our plans to entertain after a busy week seem daunting, so instead of planning a menu, heading to the grocery store, and cleaning the house, we cancel our plans. Our friends appreciate our honesty and we offer them a rain check.
Instead of hosting a dinner, we pack a quick overnight bag and drive up to Vermont, stopping for beers in the outdoor garden of Harpoon Brewery in Windsor. The trees change to a vibrant green, the clouds take on an artistic pattern, the hairs on Simba’s back glisten in the afternoon sunlight, and I slip on my sunglasses. A cold draft beer tastes a little sweeter when it is sipped in the outdoors. The work call I took felt lighter, the conversation flowed with ideas in unison with my colleague. We explore the nearby outdoor adventure shop, dreaming of floating down the river in the summer. After an outdoor lunch, we drive further and park at Mount Peg to get a little exercise. The moss blankets the forest floor and teeny buds wave as we walk by. We are happy to watch the water rushing, while we stand still.
Sipping coffee before the rest of your house wakes, freshly laundered sheets, a funny text from an old friend. It doesn’t take much to brighten a mood for a moment. But how often do we stop and notice these small moments of joy? Could highlighting what has brought us joy, help to build a happier outlook? Many of us have created other humans, so this should not be too much of a challenge.
During the lockdown of the Pandemic, I challenged friends and family to pay attention to the teeny moments of their day that brought them joy. “If a video made you laugh yesterday, today, spend a few minutes looking for other clips. If you enjoyed reading a book, maybe it’s time to order a few more titles from your library? If you liked a song that came on your car radio, play that soundtrack at your desk,” I explained.
I encouraged them to share on their social media accounts with the #joyburst attached. Once one friend posted about the joy of buying flowers at the grocery store, many copied and shared. “We can help each other. I’m challenging you to not only notice and share your happy moments but play them on repeat so you can build a happier day,” I encouraged. “Focus on yourself, not what you are doing to bring joy to others.” My goal was to uncover what made us smile each day. I wondered how we could cultivate more happiness.
Our bursts of joy became contagious. If my day was gloomy, I found myself trying to find a reason to smile and share. The quest for joy bursts distracted me from my grumpy mood. We shared photos of recipes, podcasts, quotes and songs. The more focus we shined on our joy, the brighter these moments became.
When our boys were small, we read the book “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day,” and laughed over how miserable he was. The more Alexander stomped around complaining, the worse his day seemed to get. Gloom breeds doom.
By changing our mindsets to search for good moments, we can find more reasons to smile. We don’t need grand celebrations or adventures; we just need little everyday sparks to feel more joy. A text from a friend, watching a movie with your child, a warm bath at the end of the day. Simple moments bring joy and when added up, brighten our day. But it is up to us to search for these moments and savor them.
If you have been struggling to find joy lately, do not give up hope. Your search might take longer or be more difficult, but I bet you can find a little something to make you smile. That is why sharing your joy is so important-- you never know who might need inspiration at that moment.
Joy can be found in fun plans and epic adventures, but there is also a burst of joy when plans are canceled and there is room to spontaneously enjoy the afternoon. There is practical magic in slipping on sunglasses; they help frame the afternoon in a new light.
